


Kingdom Hearts III Skit – Marluxia Night

by TrinityXaosA



Series: Kingdom Hearts III Parodies [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts, Tangled (2010)
Genre: Based on Abridged parodies, Created on May 2019, Humor, Inspired by Abridged Parodies, Inspired by Abridged Series, Inspired by SAO Abridged, Inspired by Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series, Intermissions, Kingdom Hearts III, Kingdom of Corona, Marluxia Boss Fight, Marluxia enjoys drinks, Marluxia knows he's a bad actor, Marluxia might have memories of Strelitza, Nighttime, Off-screen Deaths, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Originally Posted on deviantART, Parody, Screenplay/Script Format, Skit, Sora is based on Abridged!Yami Yugi, The Kingdom of Corona (Kingdom Hearts), Why the Stabbington Brothers aren't present, sketch - freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:07:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21813424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrinityXaosA/pseuds/TrinityXaosA
Summary: [KHIII Spoilers]Remember the scene where Flynn was tied up on the boat? How did Marluxia do it? Where were the Stabbington brothers in all this? How does Sora respond to Marluxia’s mission in Corona? All in this non-canon skit!Rated about “Teen” for minor language, alcohol use, and off-screen violence.
Relationships: Donald Duck & Goofy & Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Gothel & Rapunzel (Disney), Marluxia & Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Marluxia & Strelitzia (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Kingdom Hearts III Parodies [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1515689
Kudos: 4





	Kingdom Hearts III Skit – Marluxia Night

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the cutscene “New Seven Hearts” and its base form in Tangled.

INTERMISSION

The intermission shows the Kingdom Hearts III title screen featuring Sora with a Paopu Fruit in his hand.

SORA: (Off-screen singing)

_Sad to say,_

_We don’t do Tangled songs!_

SORA: (Off-screen)

I mean, wouldn’t have “I See the Light” been good for this gam—

STATIC

Marluxia is seen seated at a fancy table drinking a cup of tea watching an earlier scene from Tangled.

MARLUXIA: (Off-Screen)

Welcome to the Marluxia Night Show. This week’s episode is dedicated to a girl who spent her life classified as a hermit. Happy Birthday, Rapunzel!

Marluxia then laughed so awkwardly that it sounds creepy, like Rajesh’s creepy laugh in _Big Bang Theory_ ’s first season.

STATIC

The imagery returned to Sora in the title screen.

SORA: (Off-Screen)

Christ, that was freaky.

-

KINGDOM OF CORONA – SHORELINE

The scene starts with Rapunzel at her boat awaiting the return of Flynn Rider (a.k.a. Eugene) after he completed his errand with the satchel. She wasn’t expected to hear a _whooshing_ sound from behind and seeing a pink haired person in black when she turned around.

RAPUNZEL:

Who are you?

MARLUXIA:

I’m afraid I am the bearer of bad news, young lady.

RAPUNZEL:

Huh? But aren’t there supposed to be redheaded twins in the area?

Marluxia was caught off guard and was trying to think of an excuse while thinking back to what happened to those said twins.

[FLASHBACK]

After Flynn recovered from his shock at the Stabbington brothers’ demands and refused them, they had grabbed him and brought him closer to the trees to beat up. There Marluxia, the operation’s coordinator, watched as the brothers punched the stuffing out of Flynn.

EUGENE/FLYNN RIDER: [Off-Screen]

Ow! Aah! Oh come on– arg! Why is everyone always hitting me?!

With one last punch, Flynn went out with a grunt. That was when the plan proceeded with Marluxia pointing at the sailboat they got to ship Flynn off.

MARLUXIA:

Good work. Now, tie him up to the boat you two. Then, you will be rewarded. Go, go, go!

As the Stabbington brothers dragged Flynn on board the sailboat and tied him up to the mast near the wheel with the crown (Rapunzel’s tiara), Marluxia summoned his favorite tool for gardening hedges: his scythe Graceful Dahlia. All to begin his part of the scheme he and Gothel crafted up for this night.

SIDEBURNS STABBINGTON: (Off screen)

Alright! He’s tied up. Now about the –

Marluxia raised his scythe upwards, aiming its sharp blade at the brothers as they paused in horror.

MARLUXIA: (In a very Jafar fashion)

_Your eternal reward_.

SIDEBURNS: (Off screen)

Holy – no!!!

Marluxia sprang into action, hacking and slashing the Stabbington brothers as they screamed in continued horror and agony (all while off screen). Despite himself, as he committed bloody murder, Marluxia couldn’t help but wonder to himself (and probably the audience shared this line of thought): How did Rapunzel not hear any of the violence since they were just walking distance away? *

FLASHBACK ENDS

Marluxia, before Rapunzel, finally came up with a viable answer.

MARLUXIA:

Noooo…it’s all just me. Now, how about we go over some sad, bad news?

RAPUNZEL:

Huh?

MARLUXIA:

Take a look out at the water.

Rapunzel did and saw the handy work of Marluxia and the Stabbington Brothers: Flynn Rider supposedly sailing away with the crown, the truth of Flynn’s state being hidden away by distance and fog.

MARLUXIA:  
Oh dear… he’d run off with the crown and forgotten you.

Rapunzel wasn’t looking at Marluxia for the next part.

RAPUNZEL:

No. He wouldn’t…

MARLUXIA:  
For—

Marluxia just went silent for a moment. Just taking time to go over what Rapunzel just said. She sounded so much in denial like predicted, but she was also very genuine. It was as if she –

MARLUXIA:

Wait a sec. You bought that? You bought my obviously monotone acting?

Rapunzel wasn’t paying attention to Marluxia’s question. She was preoccupied with what she was seeing out at sea.

RAPUNZEL:

Eugene. Eugene!

MARLUXIA:

WHAT ABOUT MY BLAND ACTING?!

Rapunzel backed away from her own boat…

RAPUNZEL:

Please… no!

And she run off to Marluxia’s right in a panic.

MARLUXIA:

Oh come on!

Another bit of silence. He just realized he forgot something.

MARLUXIA:

Damn it. I forgot the Reapers…

RAPUNZEL: (Off screen)

NOOO!!!

Now she sounded terrified. There was only one thing that Marluxia could think of that would have terrified the girl like that.

MARLUXIA:

And she found the brothers. *Sigh* Jeez, was she planning a rescue or just plain running away?

Marluxia looked over to his left at where his co-conspirator, Mother Gothel, was probably hiding.

MARLUXIA:

Oy, Gothel! Take that as your cue!

Marluxia then summoned a corridor of darkness for himself.

MARLUXIA:

I’ll be back right after a pint at that Duckling tavern!

He left the area and Gothel to continue their plan.

STATIC

INTERMISSION SCENE:

An altered scene of Marluxia at his fancy table appears. This time he is with a pint looking at a magical TV screen. One that was visible and audible to him and him alone.

Around him was the music used as both an intermission tune and the ending theme in _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_.*2

FLYNN RIDER: (From the TV Screen)

It can smell fear.

MARLUXIA:

I bet it also smells being substituted in a game.

STATIC

Back at the shores of Corona, our hero who dreams of being a paid mercenary, Sora, and his minions, Donald and Goofy, just arrived to see Gothel and Rapunzel going off into the woods in the distance.

SORA:

Well, I figured that old lady was the possessive type.

DONALD:

How so?

SORA:

Her claims about Rapunzel’s safety were doubtful.

GOOFY:

Didn’t you show sympathy to Gothel’s words though?

Sora looked at Goofy in a deadpan way.

SORA:

(Sarcastically) Thanks for bringing that up, mom.

Sora went back at looking at the departing pair of Rapunzel and Gothel.

SORA:  
Anyways, we better stop them to prove to Rapunzel that we are still around for her emotionally. Then we can deal with Flynn afterwards.

Before they could start Sora’s plan, Marluxia returned via a corridor of darkness. However, Marluxia was still a little drunk from his pint.

MARLUXIA:

I’m ‘fraid not, Sore-rie.

SORA:  
Marluxia? Did you get drunk off screen?

MARLUXIA:

Doeth it madder? That little lady’s prolly tram-trauma-traumatized by abandonment and crime scenes.

SORA:

Yeah. Wouldn’t it be better to have support in numbers though?

MARLUXIA:

Oh… lite. Forgot to add her princess heart stats for lonely time.

SORA:

Rapunzel…Rapunzel is a princess?

Sora shudders at his words.

SORA:  
Ha-huh. Déjà vu.

Sora went back to talking to Marluxia with anger and disapproval in his face.

SORA:

So Rapunzel's being treated to isolation and ignorance, just like every other fairy tale royal girl in Disney films and this series. And you’re okay with it?

MARLUXIA:

Bedder to keep tabs on her dat way.

SORA:  
Aren’t you a ladies' man!

MARLUXIA:

Well, I do have da flours to charm—

SORA:

No! I meant—Don’t you care about HER well being?!

In that moment, Marluxia’s mind, part-sober and part-drunk, wonder off to memory lane once more. In the hazy memories of his old life, Marluxia recalled his time as Lauriam with Elerna in Daybreak Town (albeit the area was completely hazy).*3 Next thing he remembered, he went off into a warehouse building in a burst of emotion and arrived in the middle of the space.

LAURIAM:

STERLITZIA!

With that memory, Marluxia’s mind broke through the drunkenness.

MARLUXIA:

BETTER THERE THAN OUT FOR MURDERERS!

Sora was so taken aback by Marluxia’s emotional tone and precise vocabulary that he needed a bit of time to recover his thoughts.

SORA:

You done being drunk?

MARLUXIA:

Yes…!

SORA:

Then enjoy the hangover and get outta the way!

Marluxia looked at Sora confidently.

MARLUXIA:

I’m afraid I can’t have you involved in this.

Marluxia proceeded to prepare to cast a sleep spell on Sora. That was when it happened.

SORA:

Marluxia, wait! Fight me instead!

MARLUXIA:  
No can—wait, say what?

That broke Marluxia out of his spell casting.

SORA:

Fight me instead of being a coward!

MARLUXIA:

(Stutters) N-not before the whole Keyblade Graveyard moment!

Marluxia attempts to prepare the spell again.

SORA:

Fight me, Marluxia!

Another break of concentration!

MARLUXIA:

We can’t yet!

SORA:

FIGHT ME!  
MARLUXIA:  
Why do you want that?!

Sora paused for a bit to gather his thoughts on the matter. He shifted himself to a neutral position to talk it out.

SORA:

It would be nice to actually have a boss fight related to the main story of this game that’s not a monster, you know.

Marluxia raised an eyebrow.

MARLUXIA:  
That’s why?

SORA:  
It’s like Disney and Pixar are against the fans when it comes to character fights this time around. We didn’t get a chance to trash Hades on screen like in the past games. Or did we get any real lengthy fights with Benanort in Galaxy Toys in either gameplay or cutscenes. So how about it, Marluxia? Are you going to disappoint fans by using a cheap trick to avoid a fight? Or are you going to surpass Demyx’s record and fight us with a legitimate boss battle?

Marluxia, moved by Sora’s argument and questions, silently brought out his Graceful Dahlia, albeit slightly bloody, to answer Sora’s challenge.

GOOFY:

Is that…?

Donald gulped at the sight of the blood on Marluxia’s scythe.

DONALD:

That would explain the two bodies we saw on the way here.

MARLUXIA:

Yes, that was me.

Marluxia then went into battle position.

MARLUXIA:  
Now have at ye, heroes!

The scene then went black and stayed black for the whole fight. Captions appeared to explain the situation: “Due to supervision from the Disney team, the following boss battle had not happened in the actual game. Please enjoy this off-screen battle through audio cues.”*4

SORA: (Off screen)

Oh, geez, we didn’t get this fight into the game! That stinks!

MARLUXIA: (Off screen)

At least we can get as intense as we want in this fight without anyone complaining about it!

Sounds of blades swinging in thin air, blades clashing at each other, blades banging against shields, offensive magic being cast, sharp (like Sora and Marluxia’s weapons) and non-sharp objects hitting their target and vocal moments are heard throughout the scene.

SORA: (Off screen)

Ah yeah, this is what I’m talking about!

_Thunk! SWITHE!_

SORA: (Off screen)

Gah! Ah!

MARLUXIA: (Off screen)  
Feel my gardening skills!

_Whoosh._

SORA: (Off screen)

Hah! Almost had me!

_SMACK!_

SORA: (Off screen)  
Ha-ah!

MARLUXIA: (Off screen)

Pwuf!

_THUNK!_

MARLUXIA: (Off screen)

Shield-ow!

_POOF!_

MARLUXIA: (Off screen)

Ah! Coat on fire!

_CLANK!_

MARLUXIA: (Off screen)  
Nice try, Sora!

_Clink-zink! TSINK!_

The scene returns with Sora with his Keyblade in hand and Marluxia with his scythe downwards.

SORA:

Give it up, Marluxia! There’s no trick you have that can win this fight!

MARLUXIA:  
Oh? I would suggest checking on your Drop Meter Sora!

SORA:

Drop meter? What are you talking about? I haven’t had that thing since-

Sora froze as he saw Marluxia without his scythe in hand, but with a spell ready and waiting to be used. *5

SORA:

Oh…

Marluxia finally cast his Sleep spell on Sora. Sora was hit hard by the magic as he struggles to stay conscious.

SORA:  
Th-…f-…fow-foul move…

Sora then collapsed to unconscious sleep with a _thump_. Marluxia looked at the scene before him with a satisfied smirk.

MARLUXIA:

Hmph. That was actually quite fun. I do hope that you will have a battle with my old partner in crime soon.*6 Till then, bye!

Marluxia then leaves the scene in a corridor of darkness. The scene went black and immediately off into…

INTERMISSION  
The image of Marluxia is changed back into him with a cup of tea. Now with a satisfied smile completely on his face. The _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_ music was heard once more. Then the scene went black and Marluxia grunted in annoyance.

MARLUXIA:

Hangover…

END.

Secret Ending:

Back at the shoreline, Sora rouses from his spell-induced slumber. He feels like something wet was across his right check, like a lick from Pluto back when he was fourteen back in Traverse Town. As he looked at the scene before his eyes, Sora saw his minions near him along with Flynn Rider. Only, Flynn was with the white horse, Maximus whose face was moving upward and away from Sora’s face.

SORA:

Please tell me this is a dream…

FLYNN:

Sorry, sidekick. It isn’t.

Sora groans in disappointment.

SORA:

Then I was brought back by a horse kiss. Why are you evil reality…?

END.

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Notes:  
> *- Since the Stabbington Brothers weren’t in the game, I decided to explain what happened to them and why Marluxia was the one tricking Rapunzel.  
> *2- Just an idea that I got while I was writing this skit. It was partly to break from the Disney-related content and I was thinking that that melody from Monty Python and the Holy Grail would do nicely there. I also got the idea of three versions of the Marluxia image based on the events of the story afterwards.  
> *3- Kingdom Hearts X Union Cross call back. At this time, the moment has not yet been presented in the overseas version of the game. But in Japan and fan-translations, this scene is important to Lauriam’s character arc, as someone who is desperate to find out what happened to his younger sister. This could have been used as a personal reason for Marluxia’s presence in Corona other than working with Xehanort’s plans.  
> *4- This blackout scene is so based on Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series’ blackout moments involving Joey’s fighting scenes. Since we don’t get a boss fight, why not say that the fight was removed in all versions?  
> *5- Dream Drop Distance reference. Also, it seems like a recurring point that Sora is always getting trolled by either the Organization or Dream Eaters in that game by getting knocked out once in most worlds.  
> Also, the tune Sora was singing at the start was a parody of "Bad Luck Charm" by Jeff Williams.


End file.
